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Chronicles of living with my 'Rents.

On Wednesday 16th 2020, Germany went into the second lockdown of some sorts. Everything was closed apart from restaurants, gambling shops like lotto and supermarkets. Restaurants were only open for takeaway but people could move around within their cities. This lockdown gave me more reason not to leave the house. I mean, where was I heading to even if I wanted to leave.

So while planning for my day the night before, I really made sure that the day was spread out and knew I wouldn't have to wake up early since I literally had a whole 24hrs to figure my stuff out.

I am in bed sleeping its 8.40 am (very early for me), and I am startled out of my sleep by a very angry commanding voice. I shot up of bed. I mean that in every sense of it lol. I was telling my boyfriend I woke up as if I was in a military camp.

"The Fundi is here!"

"Which Fundi?"

"The Fundi supposed to fix the intercom"

Now our intercom had been having issues. we couldn't hear the person talk from the other end but they could hear us. I was not aware that a Fundi was meant to come fix it or that I was supposed to be awake while that was taking place.

"Make sure you open the door for him when he comes!"

"What do you mean open the door, I thought he was here."

"You will figure that out when you get out of bed!"

"Uuum I am sorry but you do realise that you shocked me out of bed, I am so discombobulated so if you may take me slow I am still processing everything."

"How else did you expect me to wake you up when I have been calling your name severally without a response!"

Well my room is at the corner of our house. So basically, it takes a lot for me to hear anyone call me especially if my door is shut and that's when I am awake.

Anyway shortly after she figured out the doorbell was working on her way to work. (The lockdown did not affect her work).So she called me to tell me that the man will just ring the bell whenever he needs to get in. which was cool. Problem solved.

By this time I was wide awake. I decided to get the day going. I made some amazing blueberry baked oats, washed and hung some clothes and was just having a chill day.

At about lunch hour my phone rings and its mum asking whether I wanted her to bring me lunch and I said no since I was enjoying my oats.

She gets home in a great mood. Tells me about a man who put a bet of 1400 euros at the store and that was the highlight of her day. A bit of some family jist and just catching up as she ate her lunch. Then after she was meant to go sort our garage out. I refused to help because this particular week I had a deadline to meet so I asked my family to give me time and space so that I can just focus on writing my research paper for one of the units I have for my Masters class.

So she put a few vegetables aside for me to prep for her and she went to the garage. I did what I was assigned to do and went to my room and started on my work. Now I find it difficult to get myself to start reading or completing my assignments but when I start, I tend to shut everything out and be really immersed in my reading. So when I got into my studies I was in.

In Germany its currently winter so the sunsets are at around 4.30/5.00ish. One of my breaks fell at around 4:00 so I decided to shut all the blinds in the house since the sun is about to set so that I won't forget. I did just that.

At around 6:30 mum gets back to the house and I am in my room. All blinds shut and lights out except the ones on the corridor (she hates it when lights are unnecessarily on). How I know she is back is because there was a sudden shout.

"Even if you are reading, couldn't you switch on the light here!!!!"

In my head I am thinking what on this earth is she talking about. I switched on the lights. Then it hit me almost instantaneously, the decorative Christmas lights on the balcony are off. But to me they were not too important deserving of that lung effort you know. So I come out of my room looking very confused.

"The balcony lights?"

"No, the ones in my nose!"

I did figure out its the balcony lights in question but in my head I was thinking jeez you didn't have to be that rude you know. It would have taken less of your breath to just say yes or no. I switched on the lights. My mood after that was just off because of the response so I decided to share my chronicles on my safe space.

While I was typing this out, I could hear her shout at our house manager for something he had done. So it occurred to me she was not mad at me for not switching on the lights. I just happened to not have done something I was supposed to do and ended up being the scape goat (point of release) for her built up anger for what these people had done.

This is just a case of many. where people get mental instabilities because you are literally walking on eggshells in a place that is meant to be your safe space. The morning conversation really got to me. I kept on playing several scenarios that would have made things better you know. Had I slept with the door open maybe I would have heard her call. Had I woken up earlier maybe she wouldn't have called in the first place. And now I am thinking was the decorative light going to kill someone because it was switched on a little later than normal. Lets say it even stayed off the whole night would anyone loose sight and crash into the house because of lack of vision.

Its annoying and frustrating. I did shed a tear because I felt as though I was not deserving of all the shouting and rude responses. But what can I do, I am just a 23 year old that is till dependent on her parents. I am honestly just trying to figure life out and using education to as a way to avoid the question "so what are you doing with your life!"

But the real deal is its hard to live with someone whose moods are like flowing water so you are basically constantly treading with caution. stepping but not stepping too hard. laughing but not laughing too hard because you never know.

Anyway we made it 23 years. We can make It slightly longer.

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